Yesterday I was talking to a mom, whose child is in the same class as my daughter. She was venting her frustration at her son’s lack of focus – how it takes him 20 minutes to find a pencil, and then an hour to finish a math worksheet. She was also frustrated at how little he gets done in class, work that then gets sent home for him to finish. Our kids are now in grade 5 and time management skills and learning to focus are key for them to get through the school year successfully.
But it’s not easy. Our kids live in a world full of distractions. When we were kids our world was not that cluttered with distracting noise. Sure, we had TV and we listened to music, but today there are the added “screen time” distractions of tablets, cell phones and all the noise they deliver and reactions they call for: text messaging, instant messaging and twitter are disruptive attention grabbers. Multi-tasking and mental juggling is becoming the norm, and it’s not just our kids that are sucked into this world – we do it too.
So what can we do to help our kids focus? Here are some tips:
Teach them to Pay Attention
Shouldn’t attention be a part of who we already are? Being able to pay attention is a learned skill. Attention is a set of three skills: focus, awareness and executive attention. These skills help us in our planning and decision-making skills. Talk with your child about attention and help them practice. Some of the things you could do to practice attention are to listen out for a specific instrument in a song, to spot a color on a page, find a word in a newspaper, using their senses talk about what they hear, smell, see, feel in the forest, perhaps even taste.
Create Uninterrupted Time
Give your kids a chance to get away from the noise and distractions created by digital media. The TV as background noise has been linked to attention difficulties among family members. It makes sense, really. Create time and space for your child to have uninterrupted, unwired thoughts.
Focus on One Thing or One Person
Teach your kids to give something or someone their full attention. This means you have to do the same. Around the dinner table, put away all devices, and focus on each other and the conversation in the present moment. We are so used to splitting our attention - continuous partial attention has been found to undermine our relationships and ability to focus.
Teach them to Single Task
Multi-tasking is a national pastime. We do it and our kids do it. Multitasking while doing their homework actually slows them down and it inhibits deeper, flexible learning. Teach your kids to focus on the one single task of the topic and task at hand and they’ll have a better understanding of the material and get it done in a shorter time.
Be a Role Model
Our children emulate our behaviours. Don’t only be mindful of how you portray your attention skills by scaling back on multi-tasking activities and excessive screen time, but also give your children the gift of your attention. Carve out time in your family’s day to spend together focusing on talking and thinking – have conversations, sit still, keep it simple.
